It's the middle of the night, and I'm writing my first blog entry because I can't sleep.
I went to bed before midnight, and spent two and a half hours tossing and turning and thinking about thrift stores, because I haven't been to one in almost 2 weeks. That's a very long time for a girl like me. I'm having withdrawals and night sweats, though the sweaty part could just be menopause or the Bakersfield heat.
Thinking about thrift stores reminded me that tonight is trash night, and that my whole neighborhood has their stuff out at the curb for early morning pickup. I live in a good neighborhood, with equally good trash, but I have the kind of neighbors who don't like people poking through their destined-for-the-dump debris. More to the point, people in my neighborhood don't like coming over for coffee and finding my freshly picked roses displayed in their slightly chipped footed vase (with the chip turned toward the back, and cleverly covered with a smidge of greenery).
Thoughts like that keep me awake at night, because I just know there's something good out there, and that someone else is gonna find it.
Of course, the real reason I can't sleep is because I have GAS: Garbage Acquisition Syndrome. And GAS makes me FART: Flop Around Remembering Treasures. Especially the ones that got away.
You know what I'm talking about. That beat-up rocking chair you saw out by the curb last week, when you were already late for work. The shabby-but-chic side table that was missing a leg, abandoned next to the Starbucks dumpster. The headless dolls in the Free Box at the church rummage sale. You didn't actually need any of those things, but you're still thinking about them. You had absolutely no idea what you'd do with them or where you'd find room to hide put them, and you might even have to explain to you-know-who why you brought them home. Even though they were all -- get ready for it -- FREE.
Free is such a magical word, and it feels good on your lips. Try it ... while you're sitting there, whisper it out loud ... free. C'mon, you know you want to. It's the middle of the night and no one's watching. We can say it together.
First, get your mouth in position ... upper teeth pensively biting your lower lip, and eyes cast upward or down, like you have a secret. Now drag your teeth gently across your lower lip and back into your mouth, and softly exhale while saying the first part, furrrr ... but don't blow out too hard, or your bottom lip's gonna be sticking way out where a birdie might come along and poop on it, as my Grandma used to say.
Here comes the other half of the word, the eeeee part. Get ready for this sound by puckering up like you're gonna whistle. When your lips are in position, relax your lips into a smile while saying rrreeee!
Now put both parts together. Inhale, get your eyes and your overbite into position, drag your teeth across your lower lip, exhale, pucker up, and smile. And while you're doing it, say free, nice and slow and with feeling.
If you do it with your eyes closed, it's almost like getting kissed. No wonder we like free so much.
